7 years today!! 🙈🎉
Seven years sober.
Seven years free.
Seven years surrendered.
Some people think I'm so strong and in such control of my life. My goodness, that is not the case. A beautiful and fiesty woman told me when I was 15, broken, hopeless and on drugs.. "baby, you'll be in and out of NA meetings your whole life if you don't just surrender your whole life to Jesus."
Full surrender. The Bible calls it a few things.. being "born-again" "dying to yourself" -- it was a point of full surrender. A child-like, simple trust I settled into. I've just leaned into His love time and time again. No relapses, no urges to go back. I died. That life is just a story of hope to share of now, because all I am is because of the cross.
The God of the universe stepping off of His throne in Heaven to come to earth and destroy the works of the enemy.. to fight to the death to save me. To save you. He promised He'd always be with us.. and His spirit came in love and power.
The spirit of God is the reason I am alive today. Dead to my sin and alive in Christ. My goodness, the answer isn't programs or success, it isn't fulfillment in relationships or anything tangible. It's the hope I have in the One who died to save me. The One who has never left me.
August 10, 2010 was a day I stood face to face with the love of Jesus, died to all I once knew, all to embrace the unknown adventure ahead, of being LOVED, healed and pursued by God. To discover the depths of His love for me, and You.
In His word.
In His promises.
In His presence.
We were all created to worship something. Fixing our full attention on, pouring out our full affections towards that thing. I started with drugs. Empty relationship. All my attention and affection fixed on those things and people. Leaving me more and more empty. I didn't know that there was so much more.
Since choosing to set my affections upon God for His goodness, I got free. because he's GOOD and worthy of our affection.. the fullness of God was revealed in Jesus. Want to know His heart? Look at jesus. What to know His love toward you? My goodness, look at the life of jesus.
I started to look at this Jesus August 10, 2010. I started to receiving healing from all the trauma and pain. The enemy is the one who caused it. The enemy comes to kill steal and destroy, but Jesus came to give us LIFE and the most abundant, beautiful life we could possibly imagine. I am in need of nothing but His love. I'm not in need of you to like me. I'm not in need of success. I'm not in need of being seen or known by you or anyone, because I am fully fulfilled and at peace in His love for me. This unshakable peace is the sweetest gift no one can take from me.
His love unconditional, unwavering and unchanging, is the gift. It's so flippin simple and beautiful. Not complicated. You've actually got to stop overthinking it all, and become like a sweet, surrendered child to receive it. It doesn't make sense. It's that extravagant. It's what set me free. Once you taste of His goodness you won't want to go back.. everyone began to turn away from jesus when what he said was offensive.. but the disciples KNEW Him. They KNEW His goodness and character. He asked, "Do you want to leave me as well?" And their response? "Lord to whom shall we go? YOU have the words that give eternal life" -- that's my question, Jesus, where the heck would I go?! Haha when tough times hit, that's what I think. My goodness, looking back at my old life, going back to drugs and empty relationships to satisfy me would be like going and drinking from the gutter when I have access a fountain of life.
7 years ago I died. and every moment in His presence, sharing His love and goodness is what I was born to experience and do. Thanks for celebrating 7 years of freedom with me, friends! 🎈🎉 freedoms never felt so good!